Updated: Nov 28, 2018
The week I returned to work was around the one year anniversary of finding my lump. That week, I started to read the book The Universe Has Your Back and the first chapter mentioned perception. With books like this I’ll read a few pages and if something jumps out at me, I’ll take a few days to apply it to my life and think it all through. It was funny that I read this chapter around the first anniversary of finding my lump. I spent much of that first week pretty down in the dumps. When I really thought about it I realised this week had been hanging over me for months. I dreaded it to be honest. I worried it would bring back that panicky feeling I sometimes get when I look at Pia. That feeling had sort of faded away over the past few months and I really didn’t want it to surface again. I also worried about that ‘this time last year’ conversation we often have...’this day last year I found the lump, this day last year I went to the GP, this day last year I was told I had cancer.’
But when I took a step back I realised I had perceived this week to be a certain way, and here I was acting out the complete scene. Sadness, fear, isolation, it was all creeping back in. But why am I torturing myself like this? I realised this week should be a celebration. Look at me, I’ve survived cancer, I’m back at work, I’m ALIVE. This time last year, I wished I’d had a crystal ball to see into the future. Here I am, happy, healthy, looking better than I ever have. I have a major appreciation for my life. I respect and love my body. I should be celebrating this week. Look how far I’ve come.
So you see when you flip your perception of something. You can change a negative into a pretty big positive.
It could also apply to my job and my perception of myself. In 2016, I was the Entertainment Editor in SPIN. I’d been in the job a couple of years and while I loved it, I felt like I’d outgrown the role. I was in my 30’s, expecting my first baby, I really didn’t want to be talking about Justin Bieber anymore. But I tried my best everyday to get on with it, but I worried about it a lot. I’d started my career in news and sport and moved to entertainment. I told myself it was a mistake that I’d never get back into news now; I’d never be taken seriously. I even felt like I didn’t have the confidence to read ‘serious’ news anymore. I told myself that I didn’t know ANYTHING.
Looking back now, I realise I had very negative thoughts about myself and my ability. Fast forward to the summer of 2018. Pia was here, I was a mum, I’d beaten cancer. My perception of myself had changed entirely. I was more sure of myself, had a lot more confidence and really didn’t doubt myself as much. I belonged on this earth and I loved myself. I’d obviously been on social media a lot over the past year and really felt I had become my true self and had showed the world the new version of myself. Before I knew it my dream job had landed on my lap. News reader on 98FM. On the breakfast show. OMG.
When I thought about it all properly. I realised my perception of myself had changed. I felt like I was more grown up, I could deal with things head on, becoming a mother and getting cancer had allowed me to be my true self. Without realising, I was putting out the best version of myself, a strong, positive version and just like that, my dream job landed on my lap. A coincidence? I don’t think so. It’s only now I realise how much people observe and take in what you put out on a daily basis. The way you carry yourself, the way you deal with everyday situations. Be the best version of yourself and you’ll be surprised how this comes back to you. We all know that super positive, happy person in the office. The one you’d never go to if you wanted to bitch about your boss. You don’t go to that person because you know you won’t get the negative response you’re seeking out. Be the person that people don’t bring their negative shit to. Ok, so we don’t have to be super positive and happy ALL the time but try to let those bad vibes reflect off you and soon the negative people won’t come knocking anymore. Because they won’t get the response their looking for.
You get back what you put out so keep yourself well and surround yourself with good things. You’ll be surprised how much it changes your daily life.